


The Heart of a Fool

by RYF



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Homophobia, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-07-19 13:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7363471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RYF/pseuds/RYF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Linda, a romantic. Lorraine, a cynical. Both girls' beliefs are always clashing and creating conflict, but...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“But love doesn’t even exist”, she said. Her eyes cold and serious. As usual, not a hint of stress as she claimed it.

In contrast, the face of the girl in front of her was red, her fist closed tight and her lips trembling as she shouted.

“Could you stop acting as if you have the absolute truth about everything? Not everyone has an cold heart like you!”

That kind argument wasn’t news for them. So much that their friends just watched giggling or shaking their heads as it went on. 

The stern girl was called Lorraine Jordan. A sixteen year high school student. With long and curly black hair and dark eyes that glittered as they moved. Prompt to use clothes who gave her a “cool” vibe, like jackets and jeans. She was always grabbing her colleagues attention because of her looks, smarts and cold personality. She didn’t have a lot of friends, even though most of the people around her would love to share her time, boys and girls alike.

The other girl, passionating arguing against Lorraine was Linda Kinsley. She was in the same class as Lorraine. Linda was fifteen, being two months younger. Shorter than the Lorraine, she looked like a child in comparison. Linda had straight blonde hair, almost always tied on a ponytail, green eyes like emeralds behind her glasses. She liked to wear skirts and dresses, but nothing too fancy or flashy. A humble girl that loved to read. It was hard to find her without a book around. 

Linda got along well with everyone in her class. Except Lorraine.

She was a romantic, after all. Lorraine was not. Loraine was quite cynical for a teenager girl. And since both of them interacted in the same group of friends, that kind of conflict was frequent. That’s why, while Linda rebutted, with her thin lips trembling, the other girls just looked in silence, either joking with each other or rolling eyes.

And Lorraine wasn’t the kind to give up in a confrontation either.

“You’re so sunk in those stupid books that you can’t even distinguish reality from fiction, anymore. Romance is fiction. It has no sense and no place in the real world. There’s not charming princes, alluring heroes or sparkling vampires to make your life more beautiful. What we do have are guys who want a housekeeper or a personal hooker, and girls who are fooled by them. Marriage is more a prison than the dreaming delusion you glorify. Even those relationships that don’t fall on this spectrum are only trying to emulate a concept that exists to cage women.”

Face red, Linda glared at Lorraine as she answered.

“That’s so cynical. Didn’t you ever loved anyone? How can you even have a will to live believing in something like that? Actually, Isn’t that a bit sexist? You think all men exist to make women’s lives miserable?”

“It might be sexist, but also true. A little girl who doesn’t take her face from the books won’t truly understand how the world works”. She paused, staring at Linda. As much as the two girls fought, none of them would ever underestimate it. Even if in the eyes of others, those arguments are a little full of ad hominem to be taken seriously, the two girls at least knew that they were respecting each other arguments, in their own way. “Well, I guess it’s not only men. Some women can trick a guy to marry her and take advantage of him, too. It’s just not how it usually works, though.”

“So, no matter the case, your views of a relationship is one person trying to trick another?”

“Pretty much.”

“Can’t you even consider that two people can mutually fall in love and choose to live together?”

“It could happen. But the chances of true reciprocity in a romantic are minimals. And the chances of it lasting even worse.”

At this point most of girls had given up and went to do something else. Only Sara, Linda’s faithful best friend, stayed behind, waiting for her friend. Sara was a tall girl with short brown hair and slender legs. She was pretty much the only one who would stay behind her friend until the end on those discussions. With a smirk on her face, watching Linda's face get redder as she get angrier. 

After the argument was over, and it always stopped the same way, with Lorraine clicking her thong and turned her back, Sara was always the one to listen patiently as her friend complained to her, both in their own desks on the classroom. Linda still pretty much furious, and Sara giving her a comforting smile.

“I can’t stand her. I really can’t. She’s so arrogant! So pedantic!”

“You two are always arguing.” Sara had a soft voice, and it was the only thing that could make Linda calm down. “Why you care so much about what she think, though? You seem really passionate about it.”

“It’s just...It’s so annoying, don’t you think?”

“Hum...Maybe. I don’t really care, to be honest. I understand. But she’s not the only cynical person in the world, or the worse. I know of people on this same school who can be even worse than her.”

“It’s different. She just has to drop her twisted opinions on us when we’re talking, even though no one asked. She wants to make us hate everything just like she does! How I wish she would eat her words and admit being wrong, like…”, she stood in silence, putting her index finger between her eyes. Sara knew that face. She was scheming something. “She should fall in love, you know”, she finally talked again. “Of course! I just need to make her fall in love so hard that she will never be able to talk like that ever again. Oh, I want to see her fawning about someone so much. I want her heart to warm and melt so desperately that it’ll break her down. “

“You’re scary, Linda. And how you plan to make the girl that, must I remember, as you yourself said, has a cold heart?”

“I just need to find the kind of guy she likes. I need to get closer to her.”

“Think you can manage that after all this time and all the fights?”

“It’s not like she hates me… right? We should still be friends. We just need to spend more time together, or spend any time together at all.”

That decided, after classes were over and seeing Lorraine exiting ahead of everyone like she always did, Linda followed after. She catch up on the school’s entrance. Without ceremonies or warnings, took her hand and pulled her in the opposite direction that she was going.

Lorraine looked at her, frowning at the unexpected action.

“You have some time, right? Let’s go have some fun”, Linda said. And less than half-hour later, both girls were sitting across each other on a table in a famous cafe in the city. 

Lorraine knew about the place, but never attended it. After all, it was a famous dating spot, full of couples having the kind of conversation that usually annoyed her. Linda, unsurprisingly, looked way too comfortable there. Although, as far as Lorraine knew, she never had an actual boyfriend. But it looked like the kind of place she would go, even alone.

Linda had started to wonder if that was a good idea. In fact, she was amazed that Lorraine had followed her. As fas as she could remember, her colleague always refused every invitation she ever received at school. Not that Linda had bothered herself to actually invite her first.

The waitress placed a cute strawberry cake in front of Linda. Lorraine had asked for a cup of coffee with cream. She still wasn’t sure what she was doing there. 

“So, what…”, Lorraine started, but stopped, seeing Linda smiling at her.

“It’s a nice atmosphere, huh?”

Around them, a lot of couples snuggled on each other, holding hands, feeding each other, smiling and talking. Definitely not the kind of place Lorraine was comfortable with.

“It looks...pretty fantastical”, she said. Linda pouted.

“Really? Going to start the ‘it’s all a fake’ now, even here? You can’t see even when it’s happening in front of you?”

“Well, it sure is happening, as in, they are there. But why it’s happening. You probably look at these people and assume ‘of course they’re all in love with each other’. That’s so ingenuous”.

“Oh yeah? So…”, Linda pointed with her head to a couple ahead of them. The guy had the girl’s hands on his and smiled fondly at her. Her cheeks were slightly flushed. “What you say about those two? Are they’re both faking it?”

“Hum, I don’t know about faking, but... have you looked at their hands yet?”

Linda looked to Lorraine with a confused expression.

“His fingers, to be specific. After that, look at hers.”

Discreetly looking at the couple again, she understood what Lorraine was talking about. The bright golden circle on his ring finger. There was none on hers.

“I know what you’re going to say already.”

“Wouldn’t you assume the same?”

“Well, we don’t know, really. Maybe she doesn’t like to wear rings and leave hers in home. Maybe she lost it. Maybe it’s not really an engagement ring”.

“You’ll really look for a lot of ‘maybes’. That’s why you’re so naive”.

“Well, and you’re a real cynical!” Linda felt the blood rising to her head again. “I’m sure you could find a twisted story for every couple here, can’t you?!”

Lorraine smiled mischievously.

“You really want to know?”

Linda was dispirited as the two girls walked back from the cafe. Lorraine had a depressing story for each couple. Most of them actually made a lot of sense. Even the cake felt bitter as she eat it listening to Lorraine’s conclusions. At some point she was so disheartened by all the talk that she wasn’t even angry anymore. She was just sad.

“But you know”, Lorraine said, breaking the awkward silence that had formed between them. “That’s a pretty creepy hobby you have there. Stalking couples.”

“I’m not stalking anyone! I just like to be in a place so full of affection and love. Hum...that’s not creepy, right?”

Lorraine looked at Linda, smiled, but didn’t answer. That just made it more awkward and she found herself babbling.

“J-just, you know. I’m j-just...not like you. Seeing people, hum, being, I mean, loving other is, like…”

Lorraine giggled.

“Oh, shut up!” Linda sighed and let her arms fall. “Anyway, I failed.”

“Failed at what?”

“I wanted to know more about you. I mean, I really wanted to learn about...what kind of guys you like, or something.”

“So that’s what this was about, huh? Well, it’s funny because you didn’t even tried. We pretty much spent all the time arguing”.

“And who is the one to blame, huh?! Well, no matter. It’s impossible anyway. I’ll admit. I wanted to see you fall in love, but I guess it’s useless”.

Lorraine stopped her pace, surprised. Linda turned to look at her.

“Why do you care? My life has anything to do with you. We don’t even talk to each other that much. I’m not even sure if we are friends or notl”.

“Well, it’s because...hum...I’m not really sure, to be honest, but...You pisses me off!”

Another smirk raised on Lorraine’s lips.

“See! That face. That smug! I hate it!”

“Want to hear what I think, though?” Linda glared at her, in silence. “I think you get angry because you know I’m right, and don’t want to give up. That makes sense. You don’t like to listen to what I have to say because you know it’s the truth, and you don’t want to admit it. That explains why you’re so worked up about the whole issue.”

“Don’t be stupid, that makes no sense.”

“Really?”

Another smile formed on Lorraine’s face. Linda wondered if that was really a snob face. She thought it was, but looking at her better, it didn’t looked different from the smiles Sara gave her. She also realized she never saw Lorraine smile outside of theirs discussions.

She was in front of Lorraine, blocking her way. Lorraine just waited, wondered what Linda was going to do.

“Well, since it’s not a secret anymore, I can just ask. What kind of guy you like?”

“So you can find me a boyfriend and prove me wrong?”

“Well, maybe, yes. If you don’t believe that can happen, there’s nothing to fear, right? Just tell me already.”

“So you’re the kind of girl who would play with others people feelings to get what you want, huh? That’s a surprise.”

“Whatever. I’m not sure you even have feelings, to begin with. If you really can’t believe in love, that is. If you actually do, I can help you be happy. So what’s the problem?”

“You still don’t get it, right?” Lorraine sighed. “I’m pretty sure I don’t have any preferences for...guys. Say, how would you even know you’re in love with someone?”

Linda pressed her finger against her lower lips and thought. Since it was for Lorraine, she thought, the way she put it should be really well thought to make sense on her really rational mind.

“You have, like...someone you like? Like...not really love, but just liking to be with them.”

“Well, there’s mom, dad. I also have a little sister.”

“I don’t mean like that. Outside of your family. I mean, I think it could be inside the family too, but, that’s actually wrong. What I mean is, there’s someone, like, in school, for example, that you really like to talk with?”

“Hum...maybe…”

“There’s someone who is, let’s say, always on your mind, or something?”

“Always?”

“Well, that’s impossible, I guess. Someone you think about a lot, then. You get happier thinking about this person. Sometimes they turn up into your mind when you go to sleep. And maybe you could lose a little of sleep because of that...or maybe not.”

“Hum...maybe, yeah. I don’t really lose sleep because of anyone, though.”

“I’m sure you don’t. That’s kinda against the image I have from you, anyway. But that’s enough.” Linda gave a honest and gentle smile to Lorraine. “Maybe you’re in love with this person. See, it doesn’t need to be something magical. But if you would like to spend time around them, maybe you would like to spend your life with them?”

“You think I should bet my feelings on some ‘maybes’?”

“Mayb...I mean, I’m sure there’s a way to make sure. I don’t really have experiences with it, but I think there are things that will feel different if you do it with someone you like. Like...kissing, maybe?”

A light red shade painted on Linda’s cheeks. Lorraine giggled. It was uncommon to see someone blushing only by talking about kissing. She was sure now that Linda had no experience with that kind of thing.

“So kissing that someone would make me realize if I like them or not…”

“Yeah, of course, I'm not saying you should grab the guy by force and kiss him, but…”

Linda stopped talking as Lorraine hand brushed her hair to the back of her ear and landed on her cheek. Astonished she saw Lorraine’s face approaching her own. Her heart beated faster as she felt the girl’s breath close to her. 

Lorraine’s lips joined Linda’s. Her eyes closed. It was a tender kiss, not forceful, their lips just touching with their mouths closed. Still, both their hearts beat like crazy for the few seconds their mouths made contact. 

Lorraine turned away from Linda and gave two steps back. She had a smile in her face, but it this time Linda wasn’t annoyed by it. 

“W-what are you…” Linda started. Her face was hot. 

“Just doing what you said. Making sure of my feelings, or whatever. So I…”, she stopped, thinking, then smiled. “I’m just messing with you, sorry. Think twice before meddling in other people's life from now.”

Saying that, Lorraine turned and walked to the other way. Still confused, all that Linda could do was to stay put, trying to process what had just happened.

The next day, a cheerful Linda grabbed a surprised Sara by the arm. Sara knew her friend well enough to realize that she was in a good mood. 

“So, was your mission successful? You look happy.”

“You might say so.” she said as the two girls started to walk towards their classroom. “She tried to pass it as a joke, but I'm sure she was serious, now. Yes, I know who Lorraine is in love with. It’s...huh...it’s me.”

Sara looked at her friend, without believing what she was saying with a smile on her face. 

“Are you feeling well?”

“She kissed me… on the lips. And then tried to shove it off as a joke, or vengeance, or something. But the more I think about it, the less it makes sense. She really is infatuated with me.” Linda smiled mischievously, as she added: “I won. And even better, I'm the one I should thank for this victory. Talk about ironic.”

“You didn't win anything until you make her admit to it, though. Even if it’s true, and I’m not saying I believe that, she still will deny it and keep saying what she was saying before.”

“Oh, but that's what I'm going to do right now..”

Sara thought about asking Linda to wait, but her determined steps didn't stop. And Sara had to admit, she wanted to see where that was going. 

In the classroom, Lorraine was on her desk as always. Her finger playing with a strand of her black hair as she turned the pages of her notebook. Her eyes followed Linda as she showed up, but hastily turned away. The gesture caught Sara’s attention. 

Linda stood in front of Lorraine desk and, smiling, slapped her hands on the surface. Making the girl look up to her.

“It’s time to admit your defeat! You took me by surprise yesterday, but I won't back down now.”

With whispers of “this again”, the students that were chatting waiting for the classes to begin turned their eyes to Linda. 

Lorraine examined Linda’s face, but didn't allow her eyes to scan her for much time. Sighing, she talked, trying to look uninterested:

“If it's about yesterday, sorry. It was just a joke, really.” she let a smile born on her face. “I'm sorry if I took your first kiss. I guess it was a little too much.”

“So you really kissed her?” Sara said. 

Listening to that, the students near then suddenly looked more interested in what was going on. Voices started to whisper to each other around them: “kissed her, she said?”, “what is going on between those two?”, “is Lorraine a lesbian?”, “what about Linda”. 

Unfazed and not buying Lorraine provocation, Linda kept her hands on the desk and the smile on her face. 

“Keep saying that if you want, Lorraine. But it makes no sense. You're not the kind of girl who would do something like that as a joke. And the way you did it, the way you touched me. The...way you kissed me. That wasn't a tease. You wanted that. That's the kind of thing I understand the best.”

Lorraine’s face became stern suddenly.

“You believe that? That I would fall in love with someone like you?”

“Yeah, I do. In fact, I’m sure of it. I spend the night thinking, and it just makes sense. And then… “ she pointed her finger into Lorraine’s direction, triumphant. “I won. You can't say love doesn't exist or that it's a bad thing to my face anymore. No when you’re in love with mel.”

Lorraine opened her mouth, but didn't said anything. She still had a serious face as she said, in a cold tone:

“Well...fine then, you’re right. I'm in love with you.” as the smile in Linda's face grew bigger, Lorraine continued, stopping her from saying anything. “But you didn't win anything. I never said it's impossible to like someone, or even love them. I just think the way you and other naive people like you see these things is quite ingenous. Yes, I'm in love with you, but what happens to me now? I'm in love with a girl that's always daydreaming about charming princes or hot guys. All I can do is suppress my feelings and one day see the one I love in the arms of another. I'm in love with you, Linda, sure. But that will only bring me suffering. Is that the kind of feeling you long for so much?”

Linda’s face became serious as she glared at Lorraine. She raised her hands on her face and pressed her eyes closed.

“These kind of words again. No, actually, now that I’m involved in it, it’s even more annoying.” She pointed again to Lorraine’s face, saying with determination: “Okay! It’s settled, then! I'm gonna make you my girlfriend!”

The girls, and some boys, around started to whisper even after listening to her. All the class got agitated. Lorraine was astonished as she looked to Linda, her mouth half open. Sara grabbed her friend by the arm. 

“Aren’t you going to far now? Proving your point will hardly justify this, you know.”

“No, I'm serious. It’s decided. She’ll be my girlfriend. I won’t turn back now.”

Lorraine tried to force a smile, but her voice was shaken as she said:

“Are you kidding with me? Do you think it's funny? You think playing with my feelings will change my mind?”

“I'm not playing. I said I’m serious. Believe me. I'm determined to make you my lover. I want to make you happy. Temporary happiness won’t mean anything. So, I'll make you happy every day of your life, if that's what it takes to change your attitude.”

Lorraine started to talk again, but her words were as Linda hold her hands and slowed leaned forward. Lorraine’s heart accelerated as Linda’s face approached. The face of the girl she loved. Her smell involving Lorraine’s completely. She felt in ecstasy as their lips touched. A kiss not different from the one they had shared the day before. But there was an entirely new feeling in her chest now.

Every eye in the class were attracted by the scene. But only silence followed. Sara also looked at her best friend intrigued. Even for Linda, that was weird sometimes, that looked a little too much to do just to prove her point.

As their mouth parted, Linda smiled at Lorraine, now with her face flushed because of the show they provided to the classroom.

“So…,” Linda said, in a tender voice. “Your answer now.”

“I…” Lorraine felt more nervous than she ever did before. Staring deep into Linda's eyes, feeling her mouth dry, she said. “I love you. Please...be my girlfriend.”

Linda smiled. And without any malice in her voice this time, she said:

“So, I win.”


	2. Chapter 2

That kiss was different from the one they shared the first day. More intense, more passionate. Lorraine had a firm grip on Linda’s body, and was using her tongue. It was so intense that Linda had to take off her glasses before her girlfriend made a move in her direction.

They were dating for about one month. The show they gave the class one month ago had got them in problem. The director left they go with a warning, while making sure to add that “It’s not because you’re both girls. We can’t allow this kind of behavior for anyone." Linda wondered if she was serious or being cautious. Although, she really didn’t remember seeing straight couples showing affection in public on school grounds, either.

Linda pushed Lorraine away, gasping for air. She took a little strand of her blonde hair away from her face, pushing it behind her ear. Her heart looking like it was going to explode inside her chest. 

“Time up, please.” She put her glasses again. 

Lorraine inclined her head, eyeing Linda that looked like she was massaging her shoulders.

“Did you hate it?”

“Of course not." Linda still hadn’t get used to how the usually cool Lorraine would get really insecure sometimes. “I just need time to recover. It’s been almost ten minutes, you know. And my neck is kinda...you’re could be a little shorter.”

Lorraine giggled.

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s just...that’s so practical and non-romantic. It doesn’t suit you at all.”

“I guess reality really is different from books." Linda smiled.

She thought about saying: “And how about the girl that was saying love isn’t even real last month, but it’s so passionate now?." But she didn’t. Somehow she was afraid that the magic would dispel and the old Lorraine would be back. She liked the new Lorraine better.

“I do miss our fights sometimes." Lorraine said, as if reading Linda’s mind.

“We can still fight. Couple fights. Like, I could get angry that you're looking at other girls. Or maybe you could complain about my skirt being too short.”

“I like your skirt short. I like your white legs."

Got by surprise, Linda blushed. 

“Sure you like. You’re a pervert." Her eyes didn’t look at Lorraine while talking. “But others will end up looking, too. Don’t you mind the gaze boys will give me, for example?”

Lorraine shook her head. 

“They can look. I don’t mind.”

Linda wondered if that was a reason to get angry, but Lorraine said:

“After all they can look all they want. In the end, I could say: you can look, but that girl is mine.” After a pause, she added: “No touching though. If anyone gives you a bad time, you can tell me. I'll break his face… or hers." 

“You're so brave. My hero."

There wasn't much traffic on the street. They were on a unpopular street on downtown, in front of a closed store. It was a long weekend because Friday was a holiday. So it was Linda's idea to use that day to hang out together. Although they usually spend time together even on common weekdays. 

She looked at Lorraine choice of clothes. A black blouse falling on one side of her shoulders. Jeans shorts and black leggings. Her hair looked like it was especially well treated. They shined on the night and it looked like no even the wind could mess the way they were fixed up. 

Linda smiled. It was clear that Lorraine had spend a long time on her looks that afternoon. The thought of her trying to please her girlfriend, contrasting with her serious attitude, warmed Linda's heart. To complete her stunning presence, a sweet smell of an expensive perfume exhaled from her body. 

Of course, Linda also did the same. Although she wasn’t used to those things. She asked Sara for a lot of tips to make herself more appealing. She wore hair loose, what was pretty rare for her. Making it look pretty was, actually, the hardest part, since she realized she never took care of it before. She asked for money from her mother to go to a beauty saloon at the end, enduring the comments that started to be thrown her way from her family about her having found a boyfriend. She had liked the results. Her straight hair now had some waves falling from her face. The problem is that now strand of hair would invade her field of vision all the time. Even more when Lorraine kissed her.

For clothes, Sara lended a blue mini-skirt and a sleeveless top. She thought the skirt was a little too short, and the top almost showed too much of her breasts curves, not that she had a lot of it, to begin with. She tried high-heels, but gave up, using sneakers instead. She looked at the high heels Lorraine was using, wondering how she managed to stay on top of it all the time.

For a romantic girl who dreamed about romance all her life, Linda realized she was too much of a nerd. When the time finally came, she didn’t even know what to do. She didn’t even had a perfume, and the smell of her shampoo was the only fragrance coming from her. There was also her glasses. No way to see without them, and she lacked the courage to use contacts.

Still, when she saw Lorraine that afternoon, all her girlfriend said was “Damn, you’re way too cute." 

That made her happy and more secure about her looks. In this relationship, Linda came to realize how fragile she was about her appearance. On the other side, she realized that Lorraine had her own insecurities too, although she always tried to hide it and play cool. Looks, however, weren't one of them. She was always pretty secure about her attractiveness. 

“So, can we start again?” Lorraine asked, leaning to kiss Linda, but was pushed away.

“Wait...that’s all we’re going to do? Can’t we, like, talk or something?”

“We did spend four hours talking on the phone last night.”

It was true. They spend from 8 pm until midnight talking about all kind of things. Linda’s mother even scolded her for that.

“True, but...I still have a lot of things I want to talk with you.”

“I love talking with you, Linda. But it’s an opportunity where we can be together alone. We should use it the best way we can…”

She made another movement in Linda’s direction, but the girl retracted again. Lorraine sighed, keeping away from her girlfriend and leaning against the iron door of a closed store behind her.

“A-anyway…” Linda said, trying to hide her nervous state. “I thought I was your first girlfriend…”

“You are."

“But...you really seems to know what you’re doing. In some...ways I didn’t expect…”

“Oh, that. To tell the truth, I asked my brother for advice.”

“You have a brother? I think I remember you mentioning him, but...”

“Yeah. He’s like, in college. For some time, I was really lost always when you asked me out. I didn’t have that kind of experience, but I didn't want you to feel disappointed. So I asked my brother. He had some girlfriends, and he has some experiences with girls. Maybe, as a girl myself I should understand more than him, but… this kind of thing…”

“Wait. You told your brother about us?”

“Kinda. I didn't really tell him any specifics. It was more like: ‘hey, I’m dating someone, any tips to your little sister?’, ‘I dunno, could always let the guy take a lead if he has more experience’, 'well, she has none, actually’,’ oh, if it's a girl, I can help then…’”

“Your brother seems… pretty open minded, isn't he?”

“Not that I liked everything he told me. There was some things I'm sure you wouldn't like. But there was some good advice too.”

Linda blushed remembering how daring Lorraine had been and wondering how she could actually be worse. But her attention was dragged another way. 

“You really told your brother?”

Lorraine looked at Linda in silence. 

“I mean, that's kind of big to do. Without asking me first and…”

“I didn’t tell who my girlfriend is." Linda's face softened, looking relieved. “But it's not a big deal, right? You even kissed me in front of everyone.”

“That was… impulse. My family didn't got a word of it, anyway. So no consequences.”

“So you want to hide it?”

“It's not like that… I just think we should go slow. In involving other people, I mean." 

“You…” Lorraine opened her mouth. But thought better what she was going to say and gave up. “Well, never mind. If kissing more isn’t an option, how about we catch a movie, then.”

“That looks nice." 

***

The theater they went wasn’t a very big place, and variety wasn't one of its priority. That was obvious when the girls stopped in front of the two only movies being played that night. 

One was a drama, the other action. The drama followed two sisters struggling to live together after their mother dies, with two families trying to separate them, Linda had read about it on a magazine some time ago. While the action movie had a generic protagonist with a angry face and a big weapon on front with explosions going off behind him. 

“This one looks nice," said Linda, looking at the drama movie’s poster. 

“Maybe. I feel like watching this one, though." Said Lorraine, pointing with her head to the action poster. 

Linda looked at her confused. She didn’t took Lorraine as someone who liked to watch dumb action movies moved by testosterone. 

“Why?”

“Cause… you know", she pointed to the drama poster. “This one actually looks like a good movie."

Linda smiled and looked away, blushing. 

“It doesn't look like a bad idea, now that I think about it." 

***

“So, how was the movie?” Sara asked. 

It was Saturday afternoon. Linda was visiting Sara. She used to visit her friend all the time, bug that started to be less frequent after she got a girlfriend. 

Linda was lying down on the bed, with her hands holding her cell phone above her and touching it. She had her hair tied on a ponytail as usual and wore casual clothes. 

Sara was sitting on a chair in front of her desk. She had a notebook opened, but didn't look like she was penning down anything important. 

“Movie? I’ll be sincere. All I can remember about last night is Lorraine’s face and lips."

“This girl is full of surprises ."

“Right? Last month she was saying things like love were impossible. Now she can't take her hands away from me. She's full of extremes."

“And you're loving to brag about it…”

“I'm not bragging… Am I?”

“Well, you are. Kinda. It makes no sense even, since I’m not interested in girls like that. Not that I don’t understand, though. You do have a lot to brag about.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s, like, really hot? I mean, you’re probably the one who knows it better, but she was always popular because of that, despite her personality being like that. I don’t know one guy in school who hasn’t had a crush on her in some point. And she’s your girlfriend. Did you stop to think about that?”

“I guess… I never saw her like that before, but I do think she’s pretty."

“How the hell you never saw your girlfriend like that? If I were a guy...or a lesbian...I would be hating you right now. Think about it, Linda. Maybe Lorraine just likes girls, sure. Have you thought that she has a lot of better choices?”

Linda let her arm fall to the bed and kept looking at the floor in silence.

“And it’s not just about looks. She’s smart, athletic. She has this cool and sexy aura around her. She has enough charisma that people are still attracted to her even though she’s always that cynical...well, was…And don’t get me wrong, I love you, Linda, but what do you have to offer? You’re kinda...plain. You curves aren’t nothing to brag about. You might read a lot, but those dumb romance books will hardly make you smarter. She falling in love with you is, like, really amazing, you know?”

“Linda… I'm kinda panicking right now, because you have a point.”

“Like I said, she is in love with you and there's not doubt about that. But, treasure her a lot. You're lucky, but luck runs out.”

“You know...You’re right. I should’ve left her kiss me more. Even if I die suffocating. I can touch her, so I should do it more, too.”

Sara smiled and shook her head, but Linda sat on the bed, looking at her friend with a serious face. 

“No, I'm serious. Why you told me that? Now I can’t stop thinking about it. You should’ve left me living in ignorance.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. I just don't want you crying on my shoulder later because you're an idiot and is alone again. So far she only have eyes for you, right? Just don't mess it up just because she’s a girl. She’s not for granted.”

“Well, I think I am a good girlfriend for now, at least. It’s true I haven’t thought about these things, though. And maybe I would’ve if we weren’t both girls.”

As Linda grabbed her cell phone and started to type at it again, Sara asked:

“By the way, I think I haven't see you with a book lately. That doesn’t feels right."

“Yeah, that's what I'm looking right now."

“Books?”

“I have unread books at home, sure, but I don't feel like reading them right now. I've been researching for a new genre lately, so I'm buying some."

“New genre?” Sara looked to the cell phone her friend had on her hand. The website of a famous online bookstore showing on it. “Oh, of course. Lesbian fiction, huh?”

“There's actually a lot more than I thought, if I consider self published books as well. But it's hard to find opinions about them. Reliable opinions. None of my favorite book critics have anything to say about the genre.”

“Well, I guess. Straight is the mainstream, right? What kind of book you're looking for?”

“I'm not really sure. Something in good taste, I think. Like, books written by women, for women, for example.”

“Is it bad if it's written by a man?”

“I'm not sure. But, like, you know. A straight guy writing about lesbians. It looks creepy, right?”

“You do have a point, but I don't know if we should be judging that.”

“This one looks alright, though. And there's favorable reviews by women.” she touched a few times on the screen. “And done!”

“Did you just buy teen books now?”

“It's uncharted territory." Linda said smiling. 

“So… are you buying lesbian books because you have a girlfriend, now?”

“Yes...and no. I was thinking. I read every kind of romantic stories. Why didn't I ever read a lesbian romance? It just never crossed my mind. Like, it was something I had nothing to do with, or so I thought. But this week I was reading something and… I kept thinking about Lorraine and… it didn't felt right." 

“You felt it wasn't about you anymore?”

“It's not like that. I kept seeing the heroine as Lorraine… and then all those men started to flirt with her… I was getting annoyed." 

Sara laughed. Linda smiled and said:

“There's another reason too, but… that's a secret." 

Sara only raised the eyebrows. Curiosity wasn't one of her traits. And she realized how flushed her friend was just by saying that. Also, she could guess what she was thinking. 

“It’s still weird seeing you with the hands free, though." She said, raising from her place. 

Linda frowned and looked at her with curiosity. Sara walked to the bookshelf she had on the other side of the room. Although it was a place to store books, there was everything on it, except books. Linda often criticized her about that. This time there was something book-like, however. Sara grabbed it and threw to Linda. 

Linda examined what she had in hands. It looked like a comic book, but with more pages. Two girls close to each other on the cover. She opened it. The figures were in black and white. And on the very page she looked, the two girls from the cover were kissing. 

“Sara...this is…”

“It’s called yuri. It’s, hum...a comic book about girl’s love. It’s japanese."

“Huh, I realize that. What I meant is, why do you have this?”

Sara looked uncomfortable. She avoided looking directly to her friend’s face, facing the bookshelf while talking.

“You’re my best friend and love you, Linda, but sometimes you’re really something else. I mean, coming out as a lesbian, or something like that...At first, I thought it was on a whim. You really wanted to win against her, so you went that far. It was cruel, but I didn’t think I could stop you. After time passed, though, I realized you were serious. I always thought I was open-minded about these things. But when I realized my best friend was dating another girl, I’m sorry but I panicked.”

She closed her fists, not daring to look at Linda, sitting on her bed.

“Two options. Accept or avoid you. Actually, avoiding you only flashed my mind, but I never considered it. Still, I’m sorry for even think that. I know I can’t change you, and I never considered trying. I wanted to accept you. it might sound stupid and petty, but it’s hard... Even though I was never against this kind of relationship, the thought that my best friend was in one… So yeah, I desperately started to search for ways to make myself more comfortable with it. I didn’t want to show disgust if you kissed your girlfriend in front of me or something. So I searched for lesbian romances. I wanted something graphic, because if I just read about it, I would end up imagining one of the girls as a guy anyway. And watching movies...Well, I would need to do it in the living room. So…”

“Lesbian comics?”

Sara nodded. She was halting looking to her friend’s face. But when she heard her name being called in a soft voice by Linda, she turned to her. Her friend was smiling, tapping the bed, asking Sara to sit beside her. She did and Linda touched her hand.

“It’s okay, Sara. I don’t judge you. It’s normal to act like that. And you worked that hard so much just to accept me. I’m glad."

“I wish I could adapt to things as fast as you."

“I’m not sure I’m okay with that yet. I never even gave much thought to it until now. Maybe I’ll start to panic soon, too."

Sara shook her head.

“You’re going to be fine. You’re always going to be fine. You’re a better person than me.”

Linda smiled and made a timid move in Sara’s direction.

“Can I hug you? Won’t you be grossed out by that?” She asked.

“Of course not!” Sara emphasized. “I’m already past it now. And I never thought you were gross, I just…”

She stopped as Linda put her arms around her and pulled her close, making the side of their foreheads touch. Linda’s glasses were uncomfortable touching her head, but she didn’t move it, letting her head close to her friend. 

“I love you, Sara." 

“I love you, too." She smiled. Linda's body hugging her was warm like always. “Wouldn't your girlfriend became jealous if she saw this?”

“Lorraine doesn't get jealous of anything. I don't think she even find reason for that." 

Sara giggled thinking of course she doesn't. Even if she was a lesbian, she would probably never win Linda if going against a girl like Lorraine. 

Linda released the hug on her friend and took the comic book again. She studied the cover and turned to Sara, waving the book in front of her. 

“So? What you thought of it.”

“Oh yeah… I… Liked it. Enough to become a fan of the genre, I think."

“A lesbian comic books fan?”

“A yuri fan, actually. There's not a big difference, but… Fact is, it was too sweet. I never saw this kind of feeling in hetero romances. I was captivated by it and could only cheer for those girls. I bought more after that, and I read some online. I really think lesbian romance is the purest form of love." 

“Even though you're straight…”

“Well, on fiction stories at least. I can't know how much they look like real life, but romance is something that’s usually idealized, anyway. Still…”

She stopped, considering how to spell the rest. Linda looked at her, smiling and waiting. 

“It might be fantasy. Maybe It's not like real life. But since I read these comics, I came to accept your relationship. But more than that. I'm actually cheering for the two of you. I want you and Lorraine being happy together."

Linda smiled, even more warmly. 

“Thanks, Sara. That means a lot to me."

***

Next day, Linda and Lorraine’s date was in the same cafe that started it all. It was different now. Instead of a unfriendly, sarcastic expression, Lorraine had a smile on her face. Linda looked the same as always. This time a slice of cake was placed in front of each of them.

Linda had asked Sara for help again. This time they tried some make up, something Linda wasn't really used to. Even Lorraine had shadow on her eyes and her nails painted when seeing her. Lorraine compliment was the same as always: you're too cute. That was enough. 

“Do you see this place in a better light now?” Linda asked, cutting a piece of cake and bringing it to her mouth. 

“It's… nice. I don't really care much for it yet, to tell the truth. I would rather spend the day alone with you." 

“But here we can do more things, like…”

“Like eating cake and drinking coffee. I can make both for you, if that's what you want." 

“You know how to make cake?”

For a second, Lorraine regretted her words. But since it was her girlfriend talking, she just nodded. She couldn't hide things from her. 

“My grandma has a cake shop. She taught me, and sometimes I make something for her to sell. I can guarantee you, it's better than what we're eating right now."

“So you have to make me something." 

“Anytime you want. We could plan a sleepover sometime. My parents are out a lot, so…”

Linda smiled and, blushing, tried to change the subject. Lorraine took note of it. 

“I never saw you like that. That's something so… wifey."

“So I don't look like I would be a good wife?”

“That's not what I mean. You're going to be a good wife… someday. But, you know…”

Lorraine eyed her girlfriend. She realized Linda was avoiding looking at her directly all day. She looked flustered. Lorraine parted a piece of cake with the fork and pushed it on Linda's direction, trying to feed her. 

She smiled, timidly. 

“Lorraine, that's kinda…”

“Don't we look like a couple like that?”

Linda smiled and let Lorraine feed her, while looking around to see if anyone reacted. She tried to hide her embarrassment as Lorraine licked the cream that remained on the fork. 

“We did it directly, already." Lorraine said casually. 

Lorraine was conscious of Linda's actions since the previous day. How she seemed uncomfortable sometimes and reluctant on touching some subjects. She was also always looking at the boys and girls that formed couples around them. At times she seemed distracted looking at other couples and forget to pay attention to what Lorraine was saying. 

“Say, Linda. Want to go have fun after we eat?”

“Sure. What are you thinking about?”

“I know of a hotel we can go...I mean, even if we’re underage." 

Linda looked uncomfortable. 

“Lo-Lorraine… I don't think we…”

“What? You think it's a sin to do it before marriage or something? We are already sinning anyway, if you’re see it in a religious way.”

“Don’t you think it's too soon?”

“One month. That's more than all our friends can say, right?”

“I'm not ready for that yet…”

“Have you even given it thought, though? Do you think about how sex between girls works? Have you ever thought the details of it?”

“Lorraine", Linda put her finger on her girlfriend lips, making her stop talking. “Why are you doing that? It doesn't look like you.”

Lorraine looked at Linda and sighed, taking Linda's hand away from her mouth. 

“I’m sorry. I’m just in a bad mood today. I don’t know if this date is a good idea."

“I-It’s okay. Just...I’m not used to it.”

They made some small talk after that, but the silence took over most of the time. Lorraine could see how sometimes Linda had a distant look, and how she couldn’t look at her face for a long time. 

After eating, they started to walk together. No place in particular as a destination. Linda hold Lorraine’s hand, but still didn’t look her in the eyes. Lorraine thought about how warm and soft her girlfriend’s hands were. She wanted to hold Linda and kiss her that same moment, but…

“Oh, you remember this place?” Linda asked, stopping in front of her, smiling.

Lorraine look around them. Yeah, she did remember. It was a long time now.

“You gave me my first kiss right here. It was surprising. You did get me by surprise, but...I never thought you was actually in love with me. It never even crossed my mind."

“Yeah, I love you." Lorraine’s face was serious while she said that. “Hey, Linda, do you love me?”

Linda looked at her dumbfounded.

“Of course."

“Of course what?” After the silence that followed, Lorraine asked again: “Hey, Linda, you never told me directly that you love me, right?”

Linda started to talk something, but the sudden question took her by surprise and she just opened her mouth, with no sound coming out of it. Lorraine hold her hand. Her own hands were cold in contact with Linda’s warm hands.

“You know I’m a girl, right, Linda? You do realize that being lovers, someday we will need to do something more than kissing, right?” Linda blushed and looked away. Lorraine touched her face and brought their eyes together again. “Have you thought avout that?How two girls do it. How you would react to it. Would you be okay touching a girl’s body in their private places, and being touched by them?”

“Stop that, please." Linda released herself from Lorraine’s touch and step away. Her face burning red. “Just give me some time."

Lorraine smiled, breathed deeply and started talking. 

“I love you, Linda. I really do. And this last month is probably the best I ever had in my life. Well, at least from these last years. I'm sure you would make me really happy all my life, like you promised. So you don't need to worry about that, you won." Linda smiled gently, but Lorraine didn't stop. “So… let's break up."

Linda's eyes opened in surprise to the words she heard. 

“What are you saying? Is all of that because of sex? If that's the case…”

“No, listen. It's not about sex. I’ll explain it. It will be my last argument. If you can counter it, I take it back… There's nothing that would make me more happy than being wrong right now."

Lorraine lied her back against the wall of the store behind them. She pressed her eyes with her fingers. Linda just looked at her, still at the same place. 

“I don't know if you really believe you're in love with me or if you’re just trying to force yourself. Still, since I really love you, I can't just keep doing this. Linda, I know you hate to lose. You got really obsessed about all this, and that's why you're trying to pretend you're in love with me right now. Because you want to prove me wrong. No, please, wait. Don't say anything yet, just listen. First, you don't want people to find out we’re going out. The people at school… there was nothing you could do about it. But when it's about bringing our family into it, you're against it. I get that it’s a big compromise. But you know, all relationship is a big compromise. We shouldn’t need to hide it. Also, I feel like you're really stressed out lately. I didn't even see you reading anymore. And you were pretty much always with a book at hand. You're getting more nervous around me each day, and avoiding to look at my face sometimes lately. Today, for example. There’s more. At the coffee shop I could see you looking at those straight couples around us all the time. Why? You always wanted a boyfriend, right? I’m here to mess with your mind? Maybe I made you confused? And of course, for last. It's not all about sex, but as lovers, physical contact is normal, even important. But you're uncomfortable with it. With kissing, or the thought of having a more… intimate encounter. I can see you feel uneasy. In the end, you can't even say you love me. You can’t even lie about that." Lorraine sighed deeply, closing and opening her eyes and smiled. ”I conclude that, like I said, you hate to lose. You wanted to win so desperately, and that’s the way you found to do it. I won’t think bad of you. I believe we could live together forever had I not said nothing at all, and you could be true to your words forever. But that wouldn’t be fair. Because I love you, I can't do that." She paused and, with a serious face, made her question. “So, can you counter all that?" 

Linda looked dizzy and confused. She opened her mouth two times before any sound came out of it. 

“I…can’t, but…."

Lorraine smiled, gave two steps forward and put two fingers on Linda’s lips, stopping her from saying more.

“It’s okay. This month was really important for me. I spend a very sweet time with you and will remember it fondly. So don’t worry. I won’t go back to like I was before. I can’t deny what I felt and I know I can feel it again. I’ll look for someone else. I’m sure you’ll find someone for you soon, too."

She pushed the strand of Linda’s hair behind her ear and kissed her lips. Tenderly this time. She let the soft sensation be felt on her mouth. Linda’s shampoo fragrance would be stuck on her for a long time. As she opened her eyes and their heads moved away, Linda tried to hold her face again, but Lorraine gently grabbed her hand and keep it away. 

“Just let it go." She said, smiling. Then, turned away. “See you at school. Let's keep being friend like we were, okay?”

And, leaving Linda confused behind, Lorraine walked away. 

*** 

“So she just threw all that on you and left? What the hell is that girl thinking?”

Sara had opened the door to her house to see a desolated Linda behind it. With a trembling voice, she told her what happened. Lorraine broke up with me. Sara put a glass of water in front of her shaky friend and listened while she told the entire story. 

“How she can be so smart and yet so dumb?” Sara said in an angry tone. “Don't worry. Tomorrow I'll be with you while you talk with her."

Linda was nonchalant after finishing her story. She raised the glass to her mouth and took a sip of the water, like an automatic process. 

“What if she is right?" She finally said. Sara looked at her dumbfounded. 

“What?!”

“I mean… It does make sense, right? Once you start to think about it.”

“The hell it does!”

“I mean… It's true that I just started dating her to prove a point. What she said… It could be true. It's kinda dumb, now that I think about it.”

“Are you talking about that whole 'you just hates to lose’ thing?”

“It makes sense..." 

Sara rose up, walked to her wardrobe and opened a drawer, searching for something inside it. She then went back and threw a packet of cards in the table in front of Linda. 

“Let's play."

“What are you doing? I'm not in the mood for that."

“Too bad. I feel like playing it. It will be good for you."

It was a fast play, with Linda losing with a big difference. 

“Yeah… you suck as always."

“What's the point of that? I said I'm not in the mood for that…”

“You weren't in the mood in the last nine times either? Yeah, I've been counting."

“So… what…”

Sara slapped the table and rose her voice. 

“My point is… You hate to lose? Please, you don't give a shit about that. You are the same girl who would lose a match, smile and say ‘well, someone needs to lose’. So don't give me that. And that's why I always thought weird how you acted with Lorraine. Why you cared so much? You would argue against her, even though most of the arguments I had with you before turned you on this same mess you're now. So don't give me that shit. You didn't became her girlfriend just because you wanted to win."

“Why then?”

“Tell me you. Don't you like her?”

“I can't even say I love her, though."

“Still, it's not like you aren't giving this relationship any thought. You could answer most of the questions she made, right? Even I can. You're not avoiding to think about any of this, like she said. You fucking bought lesbian erotica so that you would know better how to do it with her, right."

Linda's face became bright red. 

“How do you know that?!”

“I'm not stupid, Linda. It was pretty obvious either." Sara supported her face with her hands, her arms making a pole on the table. “Look, I don't want to force you on doing something you don't want to. Sure, I wanted you two to be together, but I can't force anyone. I just think you're being stupid."

“I’m afraid to make my family meet her."

“And, knowing your mother, I get why. It's natural to be afraid of doing something when you are sure you're not going to be accepted. I don't think you're ashamed of her." 

“I just don't know. In the end, I was never truly in love with anyone before. I like her, sure. How can I know that it’s the same way she feels about me?”

“Linda, dear…” Sara's face softened in a smile. “If you're not in love with her, why are you crying?"

Surprised, Linda took her hand to her face. Her fingers touched the face she didn't even realize was wet. She looked at her humid fingertips. For some time she froze. She didn’t react at all, with her eyes fixed on her fingers, sparkling with the tears. Her expression started to soften. And finally, a smile formed on her face.

It wasn't any smile. Sara thought that was the biggest smile she ever saw her friend giving. Enough to make her jealous of Lorraine. 

“You’re probably right… I do love her… I never realized." She rose up, spilling the water from the cup on the table, without even realizing." Now that I think about it, it makes sense! That's why I hated her cynical side. The girl I love saying love isn't real… That's why asking her to be my girlfriend was so easy…”

Sara patiently swept the table with a piece of clothing, drying the water. She looked at Linda with a grin in her face. 

“So…? Aren't you going after her?”

“You're right! I have to go. Thanks Sara!”

By saying that, Linda stormed out of the room, rubbing her eyes with the back of her arm. Sara trying to call to her, saying ‘you don't even know where she is right now’, but that was useless. Soon her friend had disappear from her home. 

Sara sighed and, smiling, said the words with no one there to listen to it. 

“Good luck. Go find your girl." 

***

It was too late when Linda realized that she didn’t even know where Lorraine was. As far as she knew, she could be home already. Linda didn't know where Lorraine lived, though. 

I don't even know my girlfriend’s home. I'm the worst girlfriend. 

She thought about calling, just to realize she had left her cell phone on Sara’s. The night was beginning and it was improbable that Lorraine was even outside yet. Still, even knowing it was dangerous, she decided to keep looking. She didn't want to wait for the next day, so she just kept running through the night. 

She arrived at the park, panting, at her limit. A solitary figure walked on the side with long black hair. Linda recognize the jacket. So she just ran. She ran and jumped on the girl, hugging her from behind and burying the face on her hair. The same sweet perfume she felt earlier that day. 

“I'm sorry!” She said, loud enough to be listen by pretty much anyone at the park at the moment, although she didn't see anyone. Linda didn't care if people listened to her, though. Not this time. “I'm sorry, but you're wrong. I love you, Lorraine. I really love you! “

Slowly, Lorraine turned her head. Linda could see her well in the moonlight, as well as the tears glittering on her face. 

***

Both girls were sitting o a bench in the center of the park. Linda had been the one to conduct an agitated Lorraine by the hand. The tears refused to stop falling from her eyes. 

“Never thought I would see you crying like that…” Linda said, smiling. “Although, I cried too, so I won't laugh at you." 

“You cried?” Lorraine asked, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand, trying to clean off her tears. 

“Yes. You made your cute girlfriend cry. Aren't you ashamed of that?” As Lorraine looked at her with serious eyes, Linda shook her hands, saying: “Just kidding, just kidding… I know it's my fault, too. I'm probably the one the blame.”

“You meant what you said earlier? Do you lo...love me?”

“Yes. I was at Sara’s home, you know. You left me a mess. I even started to question my feelings. Than Sara called me an idiot and made me realize they were real. Well, I guess she called us both idiots. While running, I thought about it a lot. I think I can give you an answer about each of your questions. If I can make you believe me, we don’t need to break up anymore, right? ”

Lorraine nodded slightly. Linda squeezed her hand gently.

“I'll start with the easiest. Why I'm afraid to tell our family. Well, my family, actually. I don't know about the rest of your family, but your brother looks pretty cool. Since you aren't afraid to tell everyone about us, I'll assume he's not the only one. I'm not that lucky. My mother is crazy about her beliefs and moral. As far as I remember, last time she talked about homosexuality, it was something like ‘I would rather have a dead child than a gay child’. So yeah, I'm not so excited to tell her. That doesn't mean I'm ashamed of you." 

“I… I didn't know…”

“And that's also my fault, for not telling you. Sorry, I'm actually ashamed from my mother. You were not the one I wanted to hide from her. She's the one I wanted to hide from you. My father is not the worst, but he still follows everything she says without question." 

Lorraine managed to free her hand from Linda and this time she was the one squeezing the other girl’s hand. 

“I'm sorry. You're right. My family is cool about it. I don't have any idea how it would be if they rejected it.”

“That means I can stop here?”

Lorraine shook her head. 

“I could accept this reason alone. But the other ones would bother me every night.”

“So pretty, but so insecure…”

“No matter how gorgeous I am if you aren’t into girls.”

“I didn't even say gorgeous… But okay. For starters… About watching straight couples. About that, I just can say, you’re right. Not this time, though, but the last one. Like, when you called me a creepy by stalking couples...Yes, I like looking at couples. Sorry.” She tried to hide her embarrassment while saying it, turning her head to the side. “But you’re wrong about my reasons for that. I don’t even look at ‘straight couples’. It’s just that all the couples there happened to be straight. But I never thought like ‘it would be nice having a boyfriend’. It’s more like: ‘oh, it’s nice how they love each other’, or something…” As she noticed a sly smile forming on Lorraine lips, Linda shouted: “It’s really hard to confess that, you know?! Maybe I do have a problem…”

“It’s okay. I think it’s pretty normal, really. A little creepy and invasive, but normal.”

Linda glared at Lorraine, who just smiled. Although her eyes were still wet from the tears.

“Well, the rest is kinda…”

“They’re the most important…”

“Hm...okay then. So first of all...Lorraine, you’re way too pushy!”

Startled by how suddenly and loud Linda said that, Lorraine moved her hand away.

“I’m not saying I don’t like when you touch me. I-I d-do like it, but… Please, consider I was never in a relationship before. Well, neither you, but...but I…”

“But you’re really shy.” Lorraine said smiling.

“If you get it, please understand. “Linda avoided her gaze, feeling the blood rising to her face. “Also, stopping asking your brother about these things. Ask me what you want to do. Don’t ask things about sex suddenly, and in public. I didn’t act like that because you’re a girl. I would act the same way if you were a guy. Actually, it would be worse. You would scare me...Maybe I still should be scared.”

“I’m sorry...I just…”

“I’m giving thought to that. A lot. I’m not reading anymore because I don’t feel like reading about straight romance stories anymore for now. I bought some l-lesbian books. I still haven’t got them, though. And I’m...planning to learn something with them…”

“Learn something?”

“Because...I have been reading about straight romance until now. Even...like...sex and such. All I know about is how straight couple do it. So I wanted to learn something before, so I at least don’t look so lost when we...hm...do it. So yeah...I’ve been thinking about it...a lot.”

Lorraine felt like laughing about how Linda had her face so red, but didn’t say anything, just held her hand again in silence.

“Also, It’s Sara’s fault, but since yesterday I’ve been thinking a lot about how...you’re really hot. And I’m so plain. You don’t realize how hard it is to be your girlfriend, right?”

“But you’re so cute.”

“You’re cute! You’re sexy! You’re gorgeous! You’re perfect...So yeah, I’m nervous to show everything of me to you, to tell the truth.” Linda raised her hand and passed her fingers on Lorraine’s eyes. Cleaning the rest of tears’ trace she had. “I’m sorry I made you cry. You made me cry too, though. So we can call it even.”

Linda smiled. Lorraine looked at her with a serious face. She raised her hand, aiming to touch the girl’s face, but was interrupted but an exclamation.

“Oh yeah! The most important thing. And I was forgetting it...You said I hated to lose. That I was with you only to make a point. Well, it’s true that it started like that, I won’t lie. And I thought that was the reason, too, for some time. But you’re wrong. I was wrong. It was not to make a point, it was because it was you...Lorraine...” She raised her own hand and meet Lorraine’s hand mid-air, making their finger intertwined. “I love you.”

Surprise, Lorraine felt that tears started to form in her eyes again. Releasing her hand from Linda, she tried to clean it with the back of her hand. While avoiding the other girl’s eyes.

“Damnit” she said, in a crying voice. “That’s why love is…”

“It’s nice, right?” Linda said, and inclined to lie her head on Lorraine’s shoulders. 

Lorraine looked at her, smiled, and inclined her own head, touching Linda’s hair with her own.

“Yes…” She mumbled.


	3. Chapter 3

“You two haven’t done anything stupid lately?”

Linda was visiting Sara again. Sitting at the same bed from the day before her dreadful date. Sara again in front of her desk, facing Linda’s direction. Linda was wearing casual clothes, with a pleated skirt. She had her hair tied up and her glasses on.

“Nope. More lovey dovey than ever. We are taking it easy now, though.”

“A shame you can’t ‘take it easy’ on your own bed, though.”

After the confusion they went through, Linda and Lorraine decided it wasn’t a good idea to avoid difficult events and tried to make things right. So Linda introduced Lorraine to her family as her girlfriend. And, as expected, it didn’t go well. Linda’s mom exploded, saying that she wouldn’t accept it and making it clear that Lorraine wasn’t welcome in her home. As they left the house, Lorraine thought she would need to comfort a crying girlfriend. Instead, Linda just sighed and said how relieved she was that there was nothing to hide anymore.

With Lorraine’s family, it went the exact opposite. Linda was received with open arms by her parents, although some weird looks crossed their faces at first. She found out Lorraine’s brother had prepared everything, so it went smoothly. She didn’t think they would ever reject her, though, as they easily integrated her in the family. Lorraine’s mom soon started to say how much of a nice girl Linda was, and how lucky they were by having her in the family now. And Lorraine’s little sister became rather fond of her. Sometimes even fighting with Lorraine for her attention. Lorraine never fought back, developing complex feelings about it. She didn’t know which girl she should be jealous about.

Linda started to spend less time in her own home and more on her girlfriend’s. She went back to sleep, since Lorraine still shared a room with her little sister. And that was the root of their problem. Lorraine’s family was nice. But they were too present. There was always someone home, and even at sleeping time, Lorraine never got a room for herself. They would probably do something if the girls asked for some space for them alone, but they never had the courage to ask. Even the hotel who would let underage girls book a room by themselves that Lorraine told about was a lie.

So, when they tried to find some way to spend some romantic time together, she remembered how her best friend had busy parents that were often out for days. Sara asked Linda to have a sleepover with her many times when they were younger. So this time, Linda asked for a space to have private dates with her girlfriend when Sara’s parents were away.

“You did agree with it.”

“I agreed with you having dates on my room. Yeah. I never said anything about you two having sex on my bed. Although, I should have imagined.”

“Don’t you think that’s kinda hot? Knowing two pretty girls had a love encounter on the same bed you sleep?”

Sara glared at Linda with a serious face.

“Well, at least it’s Lorraine. I know I won’t find any...surprises on my bed, then.”

“That’s rude. You’re already presuming it’s her who cleans up...Well, you’re right. Still...We’re friends, right? What’s the problem?”

“Being friends doesn’t mean I have to sleep on your body fluids. By the way, Linda, since when you can say things like that so easily?”

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that too. Lorraine is turning me into a pervert.”

“You’re actually way worse than her.”

The room’s door opened interrupting their conversation and Lorraine went in. She brought a tray with a chocolate cake above it. As well as small plates and tableware. 

“Sorry I let you alone.” Said Sara. “I know pretty much nothing about this kind of thing.”

“It’s okay. I'm already intruding on your home. Although, it would be nice having my girlfriend with me.”

“What could I even do to help?” Asked Linda, sitting straight.

“Just staying being cute as always would be enough.” Lorraine said while arranging a piece of cake to Sara. 

“This one is even better than the last one.” Sara said, after eating a bite of the cake. “Your future wife will be a lucky woman.” Linda smiled proudly. “Whoever she might be.”

Linda pouted. 

“Why are you two messing with me today?”

“Because your pouting face is cute.” Lorraine answered. Then she asked: “Want some cake?”

“Later maybe. Now I want you to come here.”

Linda stretched her arms in Lorraine way. When the girl approached, she hugged and pulled her to the bed, kissing her lips. She turned and found herself on top of Lorraine, kissing her again. Her black hair became between them. Linda removed the hair, giggling. 

Sara looked at the scene with the side of her eyes, trying to pretend she wasn’t paying attention. Then Lorraine asked. 

“Why this know?”

Linda caressed Lorraine’s face and planted another tender kiss on her lips. 

“To make Sara jealous of our love. She adores lesbians, you know.”

Sara rolled her eyes, turning her head away. Lorraine, however, sat on the bed and looked at the girl with a serious face. 

“I didn't know that. If you want, I can introduce you to some girls…”

“No, wait.” Sara interrupted Lorraine. “You're misunderstanding. I'm not a lesbian. I just like lesbians.”

Lorraine considered Sara’s words in silence, until she finally says. 

“Yeah, I don't get it.”

“Forget it. And Linda it's just messing with us, anyway.”

“Was she always like that, by the way?”

“Pretty much, yeah. Although the pervert side is new.”

Linda sat on the bed with haste. 

“Come on. That's rude! That was just a pay back.”

“I feel kinda jealous.” Lorraine said, pushing Linda’s body towards her with a hug. “You saw way more sides of my girlfriend than me.”

“You two have all the time to make memories now. You have all of Linda's time to yourself.”

“And Sara never saw me without clothes on.”

“Actually, yes, I did.”

“Hmm…” Linda reminisced for a moment, before saying: “You're right. You never saw things as detailed and close as Lorraine, though.”

“You know, I kinda liked when you would get flustered just by thinking about these kind of things.” Lorraine said, smiling and giving Linda a kiss. 

“That reminds me” Sara turned her chair to better face her friends. “When I asked Linda when exactly she fell in love with you, she said ‘sometime between the first time I saw her and the day she kissed me’. Like you know, she’s an idiot. How about you, though? Remember when you fell in love with her?”

Lorraine gave a gentle smile and looked at her girlfriend's face. 

“Yeah. I remember exactly when it all started. I'm sure it wasn't mutual at the time, though.”

Linda looked at Lorraine with a surprised expression. 

“You never told me anything about it.”

“Yeah...never had the chance. We’ve been pretty busy lately.”

“Sure, sure.” Sara said as the two girls started giggling. “But I’m curious. What’s the story behind it?”

“I'm Interested, too.” Linda followed. 

“Well…Might as well do it. It's not that interesting, though.”

“Okay. I still want to hear.” Linda said, cutting a piece of cake and putting it on a plate. 

“Just be aware that it might look like a silly reason. It's still important to me. It happened on our last year of middle school.”

“Wait. Did we go to middle school together?”

“Not a very good start, huh?” Sara said smiling. 

“ It doesn't bother me that she don’t remember. I was just a plain timid girl in middle school. It makes sense that not one would notice me.”

“You? Plain and timid?” Linda was almost laughing, but Lorraine ignored her reaction. 

“Anyway. We had a math assignment to do that year. It wasn’t that important, but doing bad at it would still make our grades fall. And grades were important to me. I felt like they were the only thing about me that stood up, and mom always praised me whenever I had a good grade.”

“Wait. Sorry to interrupt, but… You really want me to believe grades were the only thing you stood up?” Sara asked. “I mean… Come on, you're Lorraine Jordan.”

“I was a late bloomer. And I did try to be a new person when we finished middle school. Just believe me. I was a bigger nerd than Linda ever was.”

Linda pushed Lorraine away, although with a smile in her face.

“Anyway… there was two girls who always called me when we needed a group. I didn’t had a lot of friends, so it helped, even though I knew their reasons well enough. That assignment needed four peoples, though, so they asked another of their friends. A quiet girl, always with a book in hand. To tell the truth, I didn’t think anything of her. She looked just like another bland girl like me.”

“Well, thanks. I'm sure I thought the same about you!”

“You probably did, since you didn’t even remember me.”

“Well, point taken.”

“Anyway, we planned to meet and work on the assignment together. But every meeting we tried ended up cancelled by some reason. Don't worry, those reason were always because of my two friends… I don't remember their names, actually… And once it was my fault. You were always okay with it. So , in the end, we came close to the deadline. And for the first time in my life I saw myself without anything to present to the teacher. We marked up a last meeting at the library. It was our last chance and I wouldn't let it go this time. But not one showed up. I was desperate. I even started to cry.”

“I’m sure that’s a rare image.” Sara said, with a serious face.

“I saw it before, though.” Linda said with a smile on her face.

“So both times she cried, it was because of you?”

“I...I’m sorry…”

Lorraine laughed.

“It wasn’t your fault that time, actually. Although...the last one was.” Linda started to open her mouth, but Lorraine continued. “That time, you were the only one who show up, actually. You had a smile on your face and arrived apologizing for being late. When you saw me crying, you hugged me, saying you wouldn’t let me alone. It was so sweet… I guess I fell for you right there. Later, you told me that even though the other two had cancelled, I never said anything, so you thought I could still be waiting. And that you didn't even need to do the assignment either, so you actually didn't care about it. You went there just because of me...And I didn’t even knew your name at the time.”

“That's so sweet. It doesn't even look like something I would do.”

“In fact” Sara said with a malicious smile. “Are you sure you're not confusing her with someone else?”

“I’m sure...I...kinda...stalked her after that, so I never lost sight of her.”

“That's sweet.” Linda said, squeezing her girlfriend's hand. “And kinda creepy...but, wait…”

She went silent for a few seconds before talking again.

“I think I remember that day now...kinda. But, as far as I remember, the girl I was doing the assignment with did everything alone.”

“Oh, you were no help at all. In the end, I asked you to just help me find the books and things like that.”

“You fell for me, even though I did nothing.”

“That's not true, darling. You did give me courage. And being by my side was important. I didn't had much confidence. Your hug also gave me strength. And...I thought you were so cute.”

“So you liked girls that time already?” Sara asked.

“Oh, that’s something I never doubted in my life. But I never thought my feelings would ever be reciprocated. The girl I fell in love with was always fantasizing about pretty boys, after all. So I was happy just longing for her from far away… until it got to me and I started to feel bitter about love in general.”

“You know, I was kinda happy knowing I was the one who changed you. Knowing I was the cause for you being like that doesn't makes me happy.”

“All worked right at the end, though.” Lorraine said, smiling. “And that makes me really happy today.”

The two girls gazed at each other, and Sara had to cough to bring their attention back. They looked so much as a cliched couple that it was getting annoying. But it was also adorable.

“It was a sweet story.” She said. “So don’t mess it up. It’s a nice love story to carry through life. If it ever ends, don’t let it be in a way that will stain all you’ve been trough.”

“I don’t want it to ever end, though.” Lorraine said, raising her girlfriend’s hand and kissing its palm. “By the way, Sara. You were the one who helped us the most. I never thanked you properly. Really, thanks.”

Taken by surprised by the sudden words, Sara blushed. Flustered, she raised from her place and tried to hide her face.

“I...I just said Linda was being stupid, as always. She’s really happy with you, and I don’t want her to ruin that.”

Sara took the plates and put on the tray with the remaining cake.

“I’ll wash it, don’t worry. Then I’ll go sleep on my parents room. So...have fun you two.”

Before crossing through the door, without turning to them, she added:

“By the way. I know I’m the only one home now, but you two could try not to make so much noise. Specially Linda.”

Then she left. That was her little revenge. Linda and Lorraine stood on the bed, blushing while facing the closed door.

They squeezed each other's hand and laughed together.

***

The two girls lied naked on the bed. Their fingers entwined and their eyes facing each other. Linda had her hair down and her glasses still on. Lorraine had developed some kind of fetish for having sex while her girlfriend wore them.

Silently, they just smiled at each other. Lorraine thought they really looked like an annoying couple. Too cliched to be truth.

“Think we were loud this time?” Lorraine asked. She was playing with Linda’s blonde hair with her right hand.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure Sara is with her ear on the wall listening to everything all night long. Maybe she’s recording it.”

“I hope so...I would love to hear your voice like that again.”

“You don’t need a record for that.”

Linda placed her hand on her girlfriend’s cheek, and, inclining forward, gave her a soft kiss on her lips.

Once she finished and opened her eyes, she saw tears on Lorraine’s eyes. 

“W-what?” She asked, startled. “Did I say something wrong?”

“Linda… I love you.”

Linda smiled. 

“Is that all?”

“Sorry, I'm stupid.”

“We both are.”

“I want to keep having a lot of stupid fights with you for the silliest reasons through all our lives.”

“Heh? You want to fight more?”

“Yeah...Because...While we're fighting, it means we’re still together.”

“Are you, like, proposing to me in some twisted way?”

Lorraine smiled and squeezed Linda's hand. 

“So…” Linda said. “We both are going to be stupid together forever. I swear.”

The two girls held each other’s hand tight. Closing their eyes and letting they drown in a peaceful slumber.


End file.
